“Wanaume Tunaumia,” Photojournalist Kevin Lomenen Jr Defends Dowry Refund Ruling, Citing Men’s Struggles
A public debate has erupted following a recent court ruling allowing dowry to be refunded in the event of divorce, with contrasting opinions emerging from Turkana-based figures.
Raula Akai, the founder of Desert Roses, Turkana’s first-ever all-girls football team, condemned the ruling, describing it as unfair and disrespectful to women.
“I completely disagree with the Kenya court’s decision that dowry should be returned in case of divorce. This ruling feels one-sided — it favors men while ignoring what women go through in marriage,” Akai said.
She argued that the contributions women make in marriage, such as raising children, managing households, and sacrificing personal ambitions, cannot be quantified or returned.
“What about the years a woman gives — carrying pregnancies, raising children, building a home, and often sacrificing her dreams for her family? Can those things be ‘returned’?” she asked.
Akai added that marriage should not be treated as a financial transaction, emphasizing that dowry is a cultural symbol of appreciation, not payment.
“Marriage is not a business transaction. Dowry is a cultural symbol of appreciation, not a payment that can be refunded. Reducing it to a debt to be repaid only deepens inequality and disrespects the value of women’s contribution to family and society,” she said, adding, “Kwa akina ndoa kutakalika kweli?”
However, renowned photojournalist Kevin Lomenen Jr offered a contrasting view, defending the court’s ruling and calling for fairness and accountability for both genders.
“With due respect to Raula Akai’s perspective, it’s important to also acknowledge what men go through in marriage,” Lomenen said. “Men, too, invest heavily — emotionally, financially, and socially — when they marry.”
He explained that dowry often represents a major financial sacrifice and symbol of commitment, and that men also face challenges when marriages fail.
“When a marriage ends, many men lose not only their families but also access to their children, property, and peace of mind. They face depression, public ridicule, and even financial ruin, yet society rarely speaks about their pain,” he said.
Lomenen Jr emphasized that the ruling should not be seen as commercializing marriage but as a step toward fairness.
“The court’s ruling isn’t about commercializing marriage; it’s about fairness and accountability on both sides. If a marriage dissolves and dowry was given under the assumption of a lifelong union, there should be room for dialogue or compensation — just as we expect fairness when dividing assets or determining child support,” he explained.
He concluded by urging for gender balance in matters of justice.
“We must recognize that both men and women sacrifice in marriage, and justice must protect both — not just one gender,” he said.
